When healing a broken relationship with food or your body the first step is realizing why you have ended up in this battle in the first place. It’s not about the food, it’s an emotional or behavioral cause.
Is it that you don’t love your body or yourself? Is it that you don’t feel good enough? Not worthy?
Having a disconnect from your body for any reason can lead you to make unhealthy choices, which can escalate the negative emotions towards yourself.
When you have a disconnected relationship with food, weight, health, and/or your body – it’s usually because you feel fat, ugly, and unlovable. Tell yourself that this is not true. Start the process to make a change.
Here are the most common reasons for developing a complex relationship with food:
- Control- desires to control situations/environments that feel out of control, a lack of trust.
- Self-punishment/torture- as a result of self-hatred or self-doubt. An example is bingeing.
- Distraction of painful emotions- being obsessed with food and/or weight can be used a distraction or barrier from painful emotions.
- Not feeling good enough- feeling like you have to be a certain way in order to be loved.
- Perfectionism- if you look a certain way then you will be loved more, more popular, happier in life, etc.
- Competitive nature- typical type A personalities, everything has to be controlled and in your perfect at all times.
- Need for attention/love- feeling lonely and forgotten in the world.
- Familial- disordered eating can be trickled down from family members who have suffered from their own issues, or family members that often make comments or criticize eating habits.
- Societal pressure- seeing skinny models, being on social media constantly, etc fuels pressure to look a certain way in order to be perfect.
As you may have noticed some of these blend together due to similarities.
What do you relate to?
My past issues stem from a place of perfectionism, societal pressure, and not feeling good enough. I have had moments of a need for control and competitive nature.
The good news is that none of this is permanent. These habits and feelings can be changed.